Wednesday, 16 September 2015

15 reasons why working in retail sucks | Life

  1. One minute until close, customers will manage to sneak in undetected and then proceed to spend about 20 minutes asking you about hair products - why not, I mean you might as well live here right? It's not like you have a home to get back to or a night out planned or anything. Missing your bus? Nah not a big deal. As long as they find the perfect conditi... Oh wait, no, nope they're not buying anything. Of course not. Screw. You.
  2. You can only say pardon so many times. JUST SPEAK UP MAN. 
  3. Customers will personally blame you for being more expensive than the shop down the road, I mean, seriously?! Surely the chipped nail varnish, scuffed shoes & fact that I stand behind a till all day listening to you, is some sort of indication that no, I do not in fact own a chain of shops and set the prices. Soz babes. But by all means I'll point you over to our cheaper-own-brand-product that does the exact same thing, no? Not good enough? I thought so.
  4. "This is outrageous! You never sell the product I want, this has happened too many times now, I'm going to complain to the directors." Yeah. Actual quote there. I mean obviously us lowly shop assistants are the exact person in this circumstance that all your anger should be directed towards. Of course! I mean how dare I decide that the store isn't big enough to stock aaaaall of L'Oreal's skincare range, you should definitely mention my name when complaining, I mean I personally told the big boss man to not send that item in here. 
  6. Sarky comments when you ask if someone wants a bag. You can't win; you don't ask and just assume, and they'll whip out a bag out of their pocket and tut at you for wanting to kill the environment. Or, you politely ask if they would like a bag for their purchases and they shoot back with an insult about how they're 'obviously not going to carry it out on my head' yeah, nice one, original mate. 
  7. You feel extremely responsible for killing the world. Now days when packaging comes in packaging comes in packaging, at the end of every shift you see a mountain of cardboard and plastic wrappings and can't help but feel that lump in your throat for all those trees that died to bring that Samantha girl her new pair of shoes.
  8. You could easily spend H O U R S tidying up sections of the shop, just to wander back over at the end of the day and see that people have made the decision your display is theeeee most perfect place to leave their half drunk Starbucks
  9. Screaming children. Constantly.
  10. "I saw this new thing on TV it's supposed to be really great, where is it?" "Well, do you know the brand?" "No.." "Do you know what it does?.." "No.." OH WELL GREAT THEN. I'll just spend the afternoon with you going through every product we sell until it reminds you of the advertisement that caught your eye shall I.  Oh, you're mad I don't know what it is? Well, that would be because I wasn't sitting on your couch with you last night watching Gogglebox.
  11. Working Weekends. It is inevitable, and your turn is bound to fall on the day you had reserved for hangovers and Netflix. Now you have to drag yourself into that busy Saturday shift and attempt not to breathe on anyone to save them a nostril full of stale alcohol.
  12. Being constantly told to smile. By your manager. By your customers. By your colleagues. You don't know me. You don't know what I've been through.
  13. People don't so much as look at you half the time. If someone actually treats you like a human and ask how your days going, you slip into a state of shock. Me...? You're talking to me...?
  14. You have to watch endless mundane training videos "If someone is wagging their finger at you and displaying a stressed tone in a raised voice, they're probably angry" No way, seriously? I had no idea until that extremely informative exercise.
  15. No matter how bad your mood is, how rude customers have been, how sanctimonious your boss has been acting, you have to consistently smile, take it on the chin and be forever polite. Back chat is just not an option, unless you can live without your minimum wage.
But all you customer assistants, you just remember, as crappy as it gets, at least you're not waiting staff. God they've got it rough.



  1. literally love this! so funny!! xxxx

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